Your mindset isn’t all about positivity and happy happy happy.
I’ve been hearing people say that coaches are all woo woo people and we think you need to be happy all the time and bubbly and full of life and energy.
No. Just no.
It’s not just about being happy and it’s not like I expect you to be freaking happy all the time. That’s not realistic.
When I tell someone it’s all in their head and their mindset is what drives you I mean if you’re going into something expecting to fail then you will fail.
If you’re going in expecting to fall on your face then you will.
If you go in thinking you’re going to be epic and amazing at whatever it is you’re doing then you’ll be fucking amazing at it and rock it!
You set your expectations and the universe delivers.
The world doesn’t let things happen to you, it allows them to happen for you.
Better yet, you’re winning the game you’re playing. I think I’ve mentioned this before.
If you’re constantly putting yourself on the back burner and can’t figure out why all your efforts to take care of yourself fail it’s because you’re winning that game. You’re winning the game of ‘take care of everyone except me. I’ll get my turn eventually or maybe someone else will take care of me.’
No, they won’t because you’re teaching them what to expect of you and how to treat you.
If you’re trying to break a habit and you do great for a couple of weeks and it’s going perfect and then you mess up so the whole thing is ruined, that’s the game you’re playing – ‘it has to be perfect or I suck.’ You’re not allowing yourself any grace to learn what happened. If you did you’d probably be able to see the patterns that could be tweaked.
It’s funny how this ‘self-sabotage’ sneaks up on us isn’t it.
I’m sure you know someone who ‘self-sabotages’ themselves, if you do share this and like it, comment below where this sabotage shows up for you. I love all the support and you never know who you know that may need to hear this.
It’s not unexpected tho, somewhere within your mindset you’ve told yourself that you’ll fail, then you’ll add it to the list of things that don’t work for you and you’ll start the cycle over again – telling yourself how hard it is and nothing works and I’m always going to be this way.
Guess what – that’s a HABIT. It’s all in your head!
Personally, I don’t believe in self-sabotage.
I’ve learned people tell themselves stories to create an experience they desire. People experience what they want to be experiencing. It’s that simple.
You see, when we start something new to change who or how we are, we go into it with false expectations.
OR we go into it already thinking we’re going to fail.
Or, we go into it full-hearted.
It doesn’t matter how you start, at some point, it’ll be going great then that one small thing happens that makes you question our efforts and that one tiny set back feels like Mount Everest, and you shame yourself.
Newsflash: you haven’t failed. You just provided yourself feedback, and you’re winning the game you set out to win.
What if you chose to have the mindset that a ‘failure’ is a learning block rather than a setback?
What if we think of these moments as winning the game we’re playing? If you thought it of from this perspective you’re not sabotaging yourself, you’re setting yourself up for success, for what’s to come.
Have you ever played a game? Any game – Halo, tennis, football, chess, etc.
How does a game work?
You play off the strategies you know, and you observe the other player’s actions and along the way, you notice your opponent’s strategy, and you begin to anticipate their next move. This is the same thing! Your mind is your opponent and it knows when to make its move.
Have you ever heard successful people are resilient?
One of my mentors said “Success is largely determined by resilience.”
I love this quote and it’s true of your health, wealth, relationships, work, sports, business, anything. You’re doing great and then have a sudden setback, fall off the wagon, become demotivated and quit doing what was working so well for you then your success rate will naturally decline.
Everytime you quit, you’re building the habit of quitting. You’re wiring your brain to expect quitting. It’s the same for procrastination, it’s another form of quitting just short term.
This goes for ANYTHING!!
Basically, you feel the feeling that lets you know it’s time to quit and then you quit.
I help my clients recognize that feeling. This is what we do in Worthy. We address the feeling that says “hey it’s time to feel like crap, it’s time to feel defeated, it’s time to numb out and stuff my face with Oreos.”
You have to feel the feeling to get past it. That’s the only way past it.
Right now your brain is wired to react instinctually. It’s a habitual mindset you’ve created.
What if you saw it for what it is and were able to overcome those feelings?
If you could do that you’d be able to do anything you set your mind to because you know what to expect and you know how to overcome it.
So, when you feel that sense of this is hard, this is uncomfortable, this is too much, why am I doing this, I can’t follow through – remember the promise you made to yourself. Know that you’re on the right path because tension and growth go hand in hand.
This is exactly why Worthy is so life-changing! We anticipate what’s coming and we face the fears the doubts the worries head-on.
I know that sounds terrifying and it would be doing it alone. Luckily for you, you have me as your mentor to guide you through the process, to stretch you, and push you until you breakthrough on the other side of that wall.
We’ll address what’s important about you procrastinating, we’ll figure out what needs you have that aren’t being met and we’ll create a new game for your mind to play. One that’s filled with getting your needs met. And that can’t happen until you’re clear about what you want.
If you’re ready to get clear about what you’re longing for then let’s talk! Here’s a link to my calendar, pick a day and time and we’ll see if this is the best option for you, we’ll uncover why you’re stuck, what you want and how to feel worthy of having all you long for.
This is the real work guys…
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